Spent New Year at Nf and Df having a hectic time with us five and their two (much?) younger little people. Oh the early years seem like so much hard work looking back and so distant.
Mp and I made some time, slobbing in bed as usual, to talk about where we were up to with the decision on treatment. While I don’t feel ready to be an old man and face up to failing functions in the groin department, I do need to get on and make a decision. Nf was asking whether we were edging towards a decision, but its much more like acting on a decision that has really already been made, at least subconsciously. Its a new year, and given I am a great one for putting things off, I need to act.
In acting, its like I will be making my disease concrete. By choosing a treatment option, I will be making what is currently a set of probabilities into a course of action. And what is currently a set of theoretical side-effects may become reality – like Shroedinger’s cat, opening the box and collapsing quantum probabilities into a fixed state of affairs – but without anyone/thing dying!
Unlike the side effects which may or may not happen, the treatment will for sure leave some mark and will perhaps make the reality of situation sink in. The next challenge is minimizing the mark on my life by being informed about the treatment side effects and how best to manage them.
